Madxlovesxtai's Blog

this is a writing club. i consider this a piece. this is something that has been hanging on me for almost a year. last year, the day after christmas my grandmother passed away. things like these make you open your eyes to what your life is about. i never realized until then how much she had ment to me. what a huge role she took in my life. i failed to see that she was a piece of the foundation i grew up on. at the exact moment that i herd my dad say, "yeah, patty's mother passed away this morning." my brain went into overload with emotion. it hit me that i never appreciated her enough. she gave me everything and i never thanked her enough. she loved me maybe too much for what i gave her. on christmas morning we visted her in her room to open the gifts she bought us. over the top evey year with presents. it was her favorite holiday of course. in that room on that morning, she told us it was going to be her last day. there had been so many miracles keeping her alive even that long but i still didn't want to let go. about a week earlier, she wanted tomato soup. why we didn't know but when we went down to the cafeteria, they had tomoato soup in place of onion. it was something NOBODY could ignore. this was special. now that i look back its an amazing event. back to christmas, after i unwrapped our gifts and talked a while, which was difficult because she was too weak to even mumble. i told her i would be back later. that night my mom was leaving dinner to see her with my aunts and she asked me if i wanted to go. i thought i'd see her the next day so i put it off and went home. ever since i heard my dad on the phone when i woke up i have asked myself "why didn't i go back" i feel like i let her down. i feel like i betrayed her trust in me as her granddaughter. just now as i watch christmas specials, it really hit me. it's been a year without her and i feel even worse. i wish that i could have a sign or just know she isn't upset with me. that would clear my mind from this could covering it.  i love her more than i ever let her know.

If only

We could

Make a stop in time

And reflect

 On what we have done

And where we are going

Because in times like these

Reflection

May be the key to solving the

Difficult situation.

I'll make a numbered list of the maaany time's i made a fool of myself in public.

 

1. We had a musical for "school house rock" in middle school and at the end we all fell and the lights went out. Well it was opening day for the show and at the end of thelast song, everyone fell. But me. My director was ready to murder me.

2. In 7th grade i had these really pretty dark brown khakis that i was rocking. I stood up in science and they ripped strait down the crotch. I had someone go get my lunch for me.

3. When i had my first boyfriend we went out to eat at some chain resturaunt at the mall. I stood up to go to the bathroom and knocked his whole plate of food off of our table.

4. I spilled an entire can of paint on a new carpet.

5. I've broken, 3 ipods, 4 phones, and 1 camera. That adds up to like $1000 worth or electronics.

6. Have you fallen out of a desk 4 times in one Algebra class? I have haha.

7. In one day I lost my ear phones, tripped up the stairs at school, accidentally hit this hot guy on my bus, came home and complained all day and then fell down the stairs. I can get a video of my mom recounting the little episode.

8. I was putting makeup on my best friend and I went to put on the mascara and i miss and smeared it all over her face. It took three people to wash it al off.

9. At a party I was sitting on the sofa waiting for my friends to come back with sodas and I decided to go find them. When I stood up i turned around and smacked into them spilling the coke all over the three of them, my self, and some innocent bystanders.

10. Possibly one of the most embarassing moments of my life. Nobody really understands how bad this is until it happens to you. You burp into someone's mouth while you're kissing. I's basically was mortifying, I was about to cry haha.

11. I was at a local theme park, (Dorney Park) and we were changing from our choral preformance dressy attire into our clothes for the rest of the day. I was walking out of the bathrrom and wasn't looking where I was going. I fell forward over a bench and landed in a pile of mulch and flowers. When I stood up, My shirt was torn.

12. I play varsity softball for my school and we have practice everydy after school, the team was in the back gym doing stretches and warping up our arms. There are mats all over the floor for the wrestling team and we were goofing off doing flips and somersaults. I was doing a flip and I knocked my coach over onto the hardwood floor. I had to do 7 laps around the field.

my mother dearist has cancelled my tickets to the Lancaster, PA show. if you would please help me i will be very pleased. i am sooo deeply hurt by this and possibly won't forgive her. i you would like to help me and join my petition against my mother please leave a comment below. you help will not go unnoticed. if you can get other people involved. i will be thankful forever.

 

 

much ♥ maddie

add my the academy is fan club!!!!

myspace.com/taiXloversXunite

 

 

pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

thank you!

I FOUND THE NUMBER IN THE BIG MESSS ON OUR HANDS VIDEO!!!!!!!!!

 

I'VE GOT THE ACADEMY IS' CELL PHONE NUMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

OH YEAH!!!!!!

forget that but now i have the real number thanks to a friend who looked again!

♥ maddieeeeeee

erik broke up.

 

 

now i'm gonna go sit in a corner.

 

 

 

STILL SEEING JOHN MAYER THOUGH!

 

 

MUCH LOVE MADDIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

i wonder how people can stand
being in a tour bus
with the same people
day after day
week after week
month after month

I'm sitting here in my room
listening to Santi
contemplating how The Academy Is
can stand each other for weeks on end?

That must be one TIGHT
friendship to be together 24/7
I would go insane spending
every waking moment
with my friends.



On another note
my boyfriend Erik
is taking me to see John Mayer
on July 21st!!!!!!!
yay so that means he
is coming to the TAI
concert this fall with me.




much ♥ MADDIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!